I'm a lesbian and PROUD of it!!!

Last Friday I got an opportunity to travel to Oklahoma for work related purposes. After I was done seeing my customers, I stopped at one of the local steak houses and got a nice piece of prime rib. I then went back to my motel to settle in for the night. It was only 7:00pm. Too early to go t bed. It was Friday night. I haven't been to a bar for YEARS. And I haven't been to a nekkid bar for probably 15-20 years. And I haven't seen anybody else nekkid other than my wife for over 10 years. Well, except for some stuff on the net---THAT DOESN"T COUNT!!!!!! So I decided to take in one of the local nekkid men's entertainment establishments. Now before any of the feminazis go nuts on me, let me explain one thing. These kind of establishments do not in any way exploit women. What they do is exploit men's stupidity. Some of these guys are just go totally stupid when they see someone nekkid. And I think it is an act of genius and even revenge to just walk up and take the hard earned $$$$ out of some guys hand because he got to see you cans. That's ALL he gets to see. He can't touch them, in fact he can't touch anything. Now I know that in some small venues this does not work in reverse. I mean really. Consider this. If an average woman walked up to an average man and said, "I'll show you my cans for $2, 99% would give her the $2. If an average guy walked up to a average woman and said "I'll show you my crank for $2", he'd more than likely get slapped. See my point here?? But this is not the point of my story.

I discovered more about my own sexuality last Friday night. I'm definitely not gay. I mean seriously. How can anybody get excited about looking at some guys hairy ass with zits?? And the junk we carry around isn't anything to look at either. It is a lot easier to use in the restroom, or anywhere we decide to pee for that matter but that's about it. I have however stated several times that if it wasn't for ass-sex and sucking dick, being gay wouldn't be so bad. Guys are sooooooo much easier to get along with. But it ends there.

I'm not sure I'm hetro, but I am sure that I'm a lesbian, and here's why. EVERY time I get the opportunity to share some good quality nekkid time with a woman, (part of the lesbian equation), I do everything humanly possible to make sure she is COMPLETELY satisfied before I close my deal. In fact my wife has even asked me what she could do to return the favor, and she simply doesn't understand that being a guy, if that was all it was about, I'd be done and back to watching the race in about 2 1/2 minutes. Now you women on the other hand, that takes some skill, and time. Well, I shouldn't say that. If I really want to close the deal quickly, that can be done. But where's the sport in that??

A quickie is sex that last less than 15 minutes. How the hell anybody can anyone get off in an elevator between floors and both parties be satisfied is beyond my comprehension. Now I know a guy can get it done before the door closes. But unless this elevator is the slow one to the 115th floor, girls you ain't gettin' it.

So in closing, after hours of analyzing, I have made this conclusion. I love women. I love flannel. I love comfortable shoes. I love pick-up trucks. I love to kiss, lick, cuddle, @%$#, OOPS, went too far there, every part of a woman.

SEE---I'M A LESBIAN---AND PROUD OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!